How do you know you're a Bombayite: 

1. You say 'town' and expect everyone to know that it means the 'south' of Churchgate 
2. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you 
3. You have never been to the Gateway of India 
4. You don't hear sirens anymore 
5. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible 
6. The trains make sense 
7. Your door has more than three locks 
8. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn 
9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression 
10. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a 'Hall' 
11. You consider beyond Andheri as 'Upstate' 
12. You think of Chowpatty and Juhu beaches as 'nature' 
13. You're paying Rs.10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a 'steal' 
14. You've been to New Bombay twice and got hopelessly lost, both times 
15. You spend more time travelling than you spend at home 
16. You haven't heard the sound of true, absolute silence since 1977,and when you did, it terrified you 
17. You take fashion seriously 
18. Being truly alone makes you nervous 
19. You have 14 different menus of 'Free Home Deliveries' next to your telephone 
20. Going to 'town', is considered a 'road trip' 
21. You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise 
22. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes 
23. Rs. 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag 
24. You have a minimum of five 'worst cab rides ever' stories 
25. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs 
26.If you look up, somebody is throwing waste on you 
27.Even in the morgue you have to form a line, first come first served basis 
28.If you go out with your girl friend you end up looking at all others and not looking at her at all.